10 Flirting Tips For Guys - Always Keep Your Goal In Mind!
So you want to learn how to flirt? Before we get into the top 10 flirting tips for guys, let's first take a look at how you should approach an interaction with a woman if you want to be successful.
Flirting isn't about impressing women. It's about expressing your interest in a woman and doing it in a playful, subtle way. When it's done properly, flirting is a way for a guy and a girl to discover whether they're attracted to each other.
Flirting is not about impressing her !
First off, you're not there to impress her or to show off. This is the part about flirting that guys screw up the most. Flirting is not about showing off! If you hear a guy talking to a girl about his fancy car, his high paying job, or his massive bank account, he may think he's flirting but he's actually trying to impress her, and most probably failing at that.
In reality, flirting isn't about impressing women. It's about expressing your interest in a woman and doing it in a playful, subtle way.
What is flirting then?
When it's done right, flirting is a way for a guy and a girl to discover whether they're attracted to each other.
Here's the thing. If you walk up to a girl and say, "Hey, you're cute, wanna come home with me?" - that isn't flirting. It's being very direct and forward. It bypasses all the buildup of a mating ritual and will often turn a girl off.
However, if you walk up to a woman, smile at her, get her to laugh, make good eye contact, and maybe wink ... all this stuff communicates interest to her.
While communicating interest is good, you don't want to stop there. You want your flirting to not just let her know that you're interested, but you also want to find out whether or not she's going to return your interest.
If she does return it, that's a good sign, keep going! If not, you need to decide right quickly whether you should change tactics or walk away.
Always keep in mind what your goal is.
Basically, as a man your goal is to communicate two things in your flirting:
1) Your male sexuality
2) Your confidence
Women find both of these traits incredibly attractive. Communicate them indirectly and non-verbally, and you'll have women feeling warm and tingly when they think about you. Women are emotional and empathetic creatures - they respond to feelings and strong emotions. So if you convey your confidence and your male sexuality when you flirt, women WILL respond!
Okay ... now with that out of the way, let's dig into the:
TOP 10 FLIRTING TIPS FOR GUYS
1) Open your interaction with energy!
Greet people in a happy, playful, but above all, energetic way. The first impression is key, and it's a lot harder to start your interaction in a low-energy way and build up than it is to start full of energy and let things settle down.
The more energy you have at the beginning, the more willing she'll be to let herself to be swept away by your energy.
Yes, you can have too much energy, and come across like a psycho. Don't do that. Calibrate your energy level appropriate to the situation. You want to be just a little more energetic than she is, but not too much more. Coming into a relaxed dinner conversation like you're on the dance floor at a club is not going to work.
2) Make direct eye contact.
Few things communicate your confidence better than making direct eye contact. Always look her in the eyes, and hold eye contact slightly longer than what is normally considered comfortable in normal situations.
A steady gaze is often very seductive, and helps create a strong connection between the two of you.
3) Use her name in your conversation.
When you repeat a woman's name while talking to her does several things:
First, it shows the woman that you're actually making an effort to use her name and remember it for the future.
And in a subtle way, it helps create familiarity and comfort when you mention someone's name while talking with them. If you do this, she will feel familiar and comfortable with you automatically!
4) Ask questions about her, but do it right.
Women love talking about themselves, and it's good to show some interest in who she is. However, don't overdo it because it's easy to come across as putting too much importance on her. So don't make that mistake.
Be interested in who she is, and gather some information to figure out common interests between you two. Common ground that you can use to create further connection.
For example, if she mentions having been to Hong Kong and you've been there too, you can relate to that and start talking about your own experiences there. This will help create a strong emotional connection.
5) Talk about your own life experiences.
Just like with the Hong Kong example, sharing stories you've experienced and adventures you've had helps shape her opinion of you and captures her imagination. By sharing specific stories, you can guide her opinion of you and have her think what you want her to think about you.
6) Use flattery.
There's an old saying, "Flattery will get you everywhere!" And indeed, women love it when people say nice things about them - as long as it's genuine and unique.
You don't want to sound insincere or find yourself caught in a lie, or go around compromising your integrity by giving out compliments for things you don't actually find appealing. But even more important, you don't want to be giving the same compliments everyone else does - then you just look like everyone else!
In other words, if you can tell she gets compliments on her smile all the time, find something a little more interesting to praise. Like perhaps how her smile makes her nose crinkle in a cute way.
The secret to flattery is to set yourself apart from every monkey complimenting her on the same smile.
7) Every once in a while, whisper.
Do this in a way that it fits the context, of course, but there are few things more seductive and flirtatious than whispering. Leaning in towards someone and lowering your voice creates an aura of intimacy that can not be resisted. In fact, the closer you get to her when whispering, the greater the level of intimacy and the stronger the connection.
8) Fill your voice with confidence.
The worst thing while flirting is to come off as unsure, insecure, or scared. Be secure in yourself and your knowledge.
If she says something you disagree with, don't be afraid to set the record straight or get into a light argument if you have to. Provided you don't go overboard, women respond well to confidence and male aggression.
9) Use nicknames.
When you give a name to something, you are symbolically expressing ownership over it. So when you give a nickname to a woman, you are simultaneously establishing your dominance of the interaction and creating an image she has to live up to.
For example, if she is cute and shy, you can start calling her hello kitty. Tease her and make some jokes on it. Soon, she'll come to associate hello kitty with you and try to live up to the cute image just for you.
10) Always leave her wanting more.
You don't want to exhaust everything in your flirting toolbox right away, so switch between not-flirting and flirting. Flirting constantly comes off as too strong, and it may be hard for you to keep putting that much energy into your interaction. Switching keeps you from burning out even as it keeps the interaction going.
Also, it allows you to extend the interaction so when it's time to part ways, she'll still be interested in hearing more from you. Many men will start the flirting on a high note and let the energy drop so by the end, the woman has gotten her fill of you.
So always end your flirting session on a high note that leaves her wanting more!