How To Approach Girls - The Step By Step Pick Up Guide
Mystery's M3 pick up model has everything you should know about the basics of the pickup. Seduction can essentially be broken down like a scientific experiment. The M3 pick up model, like the scientific method, is an approach to solve a problem, and what bigger problem is there than how to pick up women? However, a lot of guys could look at that and be like in high school chemistry: blank stares mixed with a little bit of fear and disgust. For those of you put off by the technical aspect of the M3 model, the following is the simplified version, the step by step pick up guide for dummies.
The simplified version of attracting women is generally broken down into 3 steps:
Boiling everything down to 3 steps makes it much easier to learn, memorize, and recognize what stage you are in so you can escalate accordingly. Generally, it works like this: first you approach the target and get in with an opener so the woman becomes receptive to what you have to say. Then you have to get the woman attracted to you, or at least, interested. After the woman is interested, you have to hook her and reel her in by establishing connection.
Approaching a random woman is maybe one of the most frightening things you can do. There is no magic spell to get over this fear. Like any fear, you have to face it and then overcome it. The best means to get rid of fear of approaching women and the consequent approach anxiety is to do it over and over and over until you get desensitized to it. Let's get this straight: you WILL crash and burn and get rejected a lot of times in the beginning. If this prevents you from approaching women, you need to give up now and become a monk. However, as you gain painful experience, rejection will get easier to manage, if not less painful, up until the day comes when you hardly get rejected at all. Rules to follow when approaching women:
1) Follow the 3 second rule. Approach her within 3 seconds of spotting her.
2) Never open with a filler or apology like, "I'm sorry but," "Excuse me," "I couldn't help noticing," "I have to tell you," "If you're not too busy." These make you appear unconfident and like a beggar.
3) Never, ever give her a compliment on her looks, specifically if she's pretty. You'll just be one of the many boring chumps that day that told her how cute she is and give her more power.
4) Don't buy her a drink or flowers or whatever else to get her attention. You can't buy her interest. Buying her stuff serves to show her that you're so pathetic, you have to try and buy her interest.
5) Don't come off as too eager, desperate, or scared. Women are experts in body language and what is more unsightly than a desperate guy eager to do anything to gain her interest ?
When you have successfully approached a woman and she is actually ready and willing to listen to what you have to say, you only have an instant to sell yourself. Consider this stage as the "elevator pitch." You're in an elevator with Mark Zuckerberg and you have until the duration of the elevator ride to pitch him your awesome business idea and get him interested in you. The attraction stage of picking up women is exactly like that. You have a couple minutes to sell yourself and gain her interest before she dismisses you as not having potential.
Women are attracted to your perceived value, and to win her interest, your perceived value has to equal or surpass her own value. There are two means to do this. You can either raise your value or you can lower her value. Raising your value is done through a pick up artist technique called demonstrate high value (DHV) and lowering her value is done through the pick up technique called negging.
1) DHV (Demonstrating High Value)
Demonstrating high value means that you are doing something or showing her that you are worthwhile of her attraction and interest and can give her with something of value. She has to feel that you add value to her so is worth her time. This is done through pick up artist gimmicks, tricks, routines, or just projecting a sense of value like the rich, powerful guys naturally do.
Negging is a type of playful antithesis to the compliment. The goal is to tease her playfully so that her value goes down a little bit. A neg should never come off as an insult but more of a tease to provoke a response from the woman. Pretty women specifically have such high value that unless you can pull off a very high value to meet hers, it is best to lower her value a little by negging her. Some effective negs are:
"You like shopping for clothes at Walmart, don't you ?"
"Isn't that purse last year's model?"
"I like your hairstyle, very 80's."
"You shouldn't be drinking any more alcohol, you're already not making sense."
"I know a very affordable gym you might like."
"You're like a little sister, cute but pesky."
Making a connection is the longest and most satisfying phase in a successful pickup. As soon as you've established mutual attraction and the tough part's over, it's just a matter of learning about each other. You just converse, enjoy each others' company, and make emotional and physical connections. This is the stage where you also escalate your kino (physical contact). Making a connection is primarily done through having a deep conversation and establishing similar threads. You can talk about your vulnerabilities and childhood experiences here as well to really establish a deep connection.
You can read about and try out the gimmicks and routines to establish emotional connections with a woman, but nothing works better than having a real conversation and getting to know each other through the things you have in common.